5 Reasons You Secretly Want A Zombie Apocalypse

Free Stuff, Without All That Damned Work

“Of course there’s free stuff,” some of you are saying. “Free dirt, blood, zombies and broken glass. But when society collapses, nobody is going to produce anything any more! Say goodbye to electricity, plumbing, TV, new music and 90 percent of what you currently do for fun.”

The joke’s on you, Zombie Apocalypse.

This is exactly what a rational person might think. Au contraire for zombie survivalists. They figure the loss of those inconveniences will be minor in what is sure to be an action-packed world full of zombie beheadings. Besides, the basics would still be there. What zombie movie ever portrays the heroes as starving?

And that gets right to the heart of it. What do you devote your waking life to right now? Curing cancer? Killing terrorists? No, odds are you’re devoting all your time and energy to just paying the bills. Those Cheerios don’t just appear in the cupboard, we slave away at a hated job to keep our bodies fed and the lights on for the fun parts, with no grand goal beyond that.

But when society collapses under all the zombie dead weight, it’s all over. But not over like a nuclear holocaust, where all the warehouses and grocery stores lay in ruins. No, all the stuff is perfectly intact. All manner of stores and malls and mansions will be ripe for the picking. In a world where only a tiny fraction of the population remains, there’d have to be enough food and clothes in the supply chain to feed you and your friends for the rest of your zombie-killing lives.

For free.

Which means you don’t have to spend all day grinding away in front of a keyboard just to keep food in the fridge. All that is swept aside. Killing zombies is your job now. And you won’t be getting any damned memos about a dress code.

Your purpose in life is perfectly clear. It couldn’t be simpler. Which brings us to the next benefit…


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